Latest jokes

1. Biwi: “Aap ne pichle saal meri birthday pe mujhe lohay ka bed banwa ke diya tha,
Iss dafa aapka kya iraada hai?”
Shohar: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”
2.Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.
Bhikhari:
Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.
Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary:
Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Malika:
Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!
3. Pathan at Kaun Banega Crorepati…..
Q: What is you father name?
Pathan: Plz Options?
A. Dilawar
B. Changez
C. Feroz
D. Sultan
Pathan: Life line 50/50
A. Dilawar
C. Feroze
Pathan: Audience Vote.
75% Dilawar
25% Feroze
Pathan: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”
Kisko call karengy?
Pathan: Apne baap dilawar ko!

4. Murgha Boyfriend
Ek ladka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye
(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.
Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera
number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?
Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.
5. Jaan yah Naan
Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha
tha ki, “Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”

Words of Wisdom

There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.
-x-x-x-x-
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks..
To be as rich as his child believes..
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
-x-x-x-x-
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is the liver & wife the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails. If the kidney fails, the liver manages with other kidney.
-x-x-x-x-
'Next Generation' Motto:
"Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge."
-x-x-x-x-
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date and
Daru is like a wife, 'Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi...'
-x-x-x-x-
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband
ke hisse mein aate hain aur wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai...
-x-x-x-x-
The Japanese have produced a camera that has
such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture
of a woman with her mouth shut!



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Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating!!!
Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A . Ek Bigadti hai to 'BANDH ' ho jati hai, Doosri Bigadti hai to 'SHUROO' ho jati hai.

Q. Doctor : Aap ka aur aapki biwi ka BLOOD GROUP ek hi hai.
A. Man : Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.
Q. What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE ?
A. In both cases you feel 'aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta.'
Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaaye bataiye.
A. Sadhu bola, Upaaye hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?